By Claire.

Today are the 90th Academy Awards. As I’ve mentioned before, I love Awards Season. I take it incredibly seriously, and it’s all I live and breathe January through to February each year. While I enjoy the Globes and the SAGs, the Oscars are the big one (and my favourite!)

This year, the Oscars are in March and it feels like Awards season has dragged on for so long. In reality, it’s just a week later than last year. But still, I was so excited, energised, and if we’re being honestly, just a big ball of anxiety and bafflement at the start.

After the Golden Globes, I was so annoyed at Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri winning everything, at Gary Oldman winning. This happened again at the SAGs, and again at the BAFTA's. Now, I feel old and weathered and exhausted.

When will I return from war?

I will get into why I’m hating at Three Billboards and Oldman later, but these emotions were strong, because I was passionate. This year in particular means so much to me.

It is no secret that I love Greta Gerwig, and what Lady Bird means to me. Greta is nominated for two awards: one is Best Director, making her the 5th woman overall to be nominated for that category. The other is Best Original Screenplay, which, as an aspiring screenwriter is exciting all in itself. The film is also nominated for an additional three awards, including Best Picture.

In addition to Lady Bird, we have Call Me By Your Name. I haven’t written about this film on here yet, mainly because I haven’t had the right words to convey. This film is stunning. It has taken over my life. I have seen it three times in cinema, and it still shakes me to my very core every time. CMBYN has been nominated for five awards, including Best Picture, Best Director, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Original Song and Best Lead Actor.

I love this movie, and I want it to win everything. However, I know this probably won’t happen. I like to think the Academy is changing. This is due to a new round of younger, more diverse voters, Moonlight’s win last year, and because I didn’t write an angry react post about this year’s nominations, because I am actually quite happy with them (for the first time in my life). However, I don’t have that much faith in the Academy.

To be honest, I would be happy to see CMBYN win Adapted Screenplay, and anything else would be a bonus (even though Sufjan Steven’s original and Oscar nominated song ‘Mystery of Love’ can bring me to tears, and Luca Guadagnino is a beautiful director).

But let’s get down to business:

So, who do I want to win?

(Highlighted are who I want to win, not necessarily who I think will win)

LEAD ACTRESS

Sally Hawkins, “The Shape of Water”
Frances McDormand, “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri”
Margot Robbie, “I, Tonya”
Saoirse Ronan, “Lady Bird”
Meryl Streep, “The Post”

Frances McDormand will probably win, and I will admit, she was the best part about Three Billboards, but god, I hope Saoirse Ronan does. I mean, this is her third Oscar nomination, and she’s only 23. She will get more nominations, but her portrayal of Christine ‘Lady Bird’ McPhearson was so natural, complex, and reflective. Ronan affords teenage girls the space to be taken seriously as complex human beings, and she did really well. So yeah, it’s not your traditional Oscar winning role, but it doesn’t mean it is not deserving.

A similar argument can be said for Lead Actor.

LEAD ACTOR

Timothée Chalamet, “Call Me by Your Name”
Daniel Day-Lewis, “Phantom Thread”
Daniel Kaluuya, “Get Out”
Gary Oldman, “Darkest Hour”
Denzel Washington, “Roman J. Israel, Esq.”

After the Screen Actor Guild Awards, where Gary Oldman beat out Timothée Chalamet yet again, I said If Timothée doesn’t win Best Actor at the Oscars, I’m going to flip a table Armie Hammer in The Man From U.N.C.L.E style.

Gary Oldman has been winning, and I haven’t seen Darkest Hour, so this is just me being petty, I guess, but portraying Winston Churchill isn’t anything new. So many people have done it. Maybe he was really good, though. He must have been to receive the Golden Globe, SAG and BAFTA for it. But the Academy loves a War story.

Obviously, I want Timothée to win. As Elio, he masterfully combines subtlety, deep emotion, comedic timing, as well as the ability to bring an entire cinema to tears with a single shot. The kid has serious acting chops. Honestly, he deserves it. But he is also so young. He has an illustrious career ahead of him, and he might win in the future. But instead of awarding people after they have had a long career, how about we give them awards when their performance deserves it?

This all being said, I would also be incredibly happy if Daniel Kaluuya wins. He was awesome in Get Out. Also, I’m a big fan in young people in the industry at the moment, these old guys have had their chance, let’s support the new generation, ja? (How Millennial of me).


SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Mary J. Blige, “Mudbound”
Allison Janney, “I, Tonya”
Lesley Manville, “Phantom Thread”
Laurie Metcalf, “Lady Bird”
Octavia Spencer, “The Shape of Water”

I have seen I, Tonya, and yes, Allison Janney was good, and she will probably win, again, like she has won every other award this season. BUT LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT LAURIE METCALF AND MARY J. BLIGE.

Laurie Metcalf as Saoirse Ronan’s mother in Lady Bird was fantastic. She deserves an Oscar for her eye twitch after Lucas Hedges says “Lady Bird always said she lived on the wrong side of the tracks, and I thought that was just a metaphor, but there are actual train tracks.” Also, the moment when she drops Lady Bird off at the airport at the end of the film. Y’ALL.

I feel like not many people have seen Mudbound. It is a Netflix film, so it didn’t have a theatrical release, and this is probably why it hasn’t been receiving as much recognition as it deserves. Mary J. Blige was so unrecognisable in this film, in a fantastic way, and if this film was released theatrically, she would be a bigger contender, I swear to you. Mudbound is a typical Oscar film (American history, war, and racial tensions), let’s be real, here.

SUPPORTING ACTOR

Willem Dafoe, “The Florida Project”
Woody Harrelson, “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri”
Richard Jenkins, “The Shape of Water”
Christopher Plummer, “All the Money in the World”
Sam Rockwell, “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri”

Sam Rockwell is probably going to win. I hope he doesn't. There’s a lot wrong with his character, literally known as a racist cop. This racism is never punished or effectively dealt with, and when you’re introduced as a cop who tortured an African American person in custody, you need to deal with that, don’t just later redeem him by making him a half-baked redemption arc. Sure, this characterisation comes out of Martin McDonagh’s script, but the Oscars are political, and this isn’t the role which needs to be awarded right now.

This being said, without a nomination for Armie Hammer (snubbed! Oliver was his best role yet, and I’ve seen all his films), I don’t have any particularly strong opinions about this category. I loved The Florida Project, so let's go for Willem Dafoe. Sam Rockwell will most likely win, but I won’t be happy about it.

BEST DIRECTOR

“Dunkirk,” Christopher Nolan
“Get Out,” Jordan Peele
“Lady Bird,” Greta Gerwig
“Phantom Thread,” Paul Thomas Anderson
“The Shape of Water,” Guillermo del Toro

Here, I'm rooting for Greta Gerwig, Jordan Peele, or Guillermo del Toro. I would especially love if Gerwig won (I will most likely breakdown and cry), and I also love Peele, and what he did with Get Out. However, GDT did win the Globe, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he won, and rightly so.

Gerwig or Peele, though, would be my wildest dreams.

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

“Call Me by Your Name,” James Ivory
“The Disaster Artist,” Scott Neustadter & Michael H. Weber
“Logan,” Scott Frank & James Mangold and Michael Green
“Molly’s Game,” Aaron Sorkin
“Mudbound,” Virgil Williams and Dee Rees

CALL ME BY YOUR NAME. That script was beautiful, and a faithful adaption of the book. I want it to win, and I think it will win.

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

“The Big Sick,” Emily V. Gordon & Kumail Nanjiani
“Get Out,” Jordan Peele
“Lady Bird,” Greta Gerwig
“The Shape of Water,” Guillermo del Toro, Vanessa Taylor
“Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri,” Martin McDonagh

Of course, I want Greta Gerwig to win. I feel like this one is hard to gauge. Martin McDonagh won the Globe (ugh), but I am really rooting for Lady Bird and Get Out at the Oscars. I LOVED The Big Sick, and I am so excited that it has been nominated, but I do not see it winning – but if it did it would be such a plot twist!

CINEMATOGRAPHY

“Blade Runner 2049,” Roger Deakins
“Darkest Hour,” Bruno Delbonnel
“Dunkirk,” Hoyte van Hoytema
“Mudbound,” Rachel Morrison
“The Shape of Water,” Dan Laustsen

I’m going to talk about cinematography for a moment, because Rachel Morrison is the first woman to be nominated for Cinematography, ever. With Mudbound, she was able to make the dusty, muddy and bleak setting look beautiful. This is not an easy feat, and could have made the film boring, but instead, it is a feast for the eyes. She is brilliant at what she does. Speaking of, she is also the cinematographer for Black Panther. Like I said, she is brilliant.

And like, because the Academy isn’t kind to women, I guess The Shape of Water or Dunkirk were pretty to look at, too.

BEST PICTURE

“Call Me by Your Name”
“Darkest Hour”
“Dunkirk”
“Get Out”
“Lady Bird”
“Phantom Thread”
“The Post”
“The Shape of Water”
“Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri”

Here we are, the big one.

I have seen all Best Picture nominations, bar Darkest Hour. This is because yet another portrayal of, and film about Winston Churchill just does not interest me.


Dunkirk was good, but it came out so long ago. It’s Nolan and about WWII so it gets an automatic nomination. I love movies about journalism, but The Post wasn’t phenomenal. That being said, it was such a great debut feature script by Elizabeth Hannah.

For Best Picture, I’m rooting for Lady Bird, Get Out, and Call Me By Your Name.

What has a large chance of winning, though, is Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, and I really hope it doesn’t. The film was awarded Best Picture – Drama at the Globes, best performance by a Cast at the screen actors Guild Awards and Best Film at the BAFTA’S. And yes, this is an Oscars Film: A lone wolf seeking justice, battling the ineffective police system. With the persecution of rape being a major issue in the world, Three Billboards definitely touches a nerve. I was even affected after seeing it, posting on social media that the film is incredible and highly recommending that everyone see it. That being said, throughout the film I had an unsettled feeling, and it wasn’t until later that I figured out why.

Three Billboards thinks its saying something profound, without really saying anything at all. We are swept up by images of large billboards, Molotov cocktails, and a hardened badass woman in coveralls and a bandana, but nothing is truly engaged with. Tim Parks for The New Yorker calls this the “feel-good fallacy.” Another critique of Three Billboards is it’s racism. This sits largely with Sam Rockwell’s character, which I touched on earlier. Beyond Rockwell’s racist cop, the entire police force is racist, homophobic, or both, which is thrown around in dialogue multiple times, but never held accountable.

Due to its murky racism and politics, yet having received so many awards, it is a large possibility that Three Billboards will be this year’s Crash to Call Me By Your Name. Back in 2006, everyone knew Brokeback Mountain was supposed to win Best Picture, but Crash swept in and won instead.

But then there is me, hopelessly optimistic, thinking Three Billboards might be La La Land instead, wining the acting awards, with Call Me By Your Name or Get Out sweeping in to take Best Picture. Get Out does more as a social critique of America than Three Billboards does.

However, Lady Bird, Call Me By Your Name and Get Out are unconventional Oscar winners. Lady Bird, as a film about a teenage girl, written and directed by a woman, and Get Out, a horror film were white people are the villain, are unprecedented. Call Me By Your Name, is subtle and beautiful and visceral. Of course, so is Moonlight, but do we honestly think the Academy will award a film about gay men two years in a row?

With this in mind, I wouldn’t be surprised if The Shape of Water wins. Not my usual kind of film, but I was pleasantly surprised. It was like a fantasy, greener version of Amelie. Once we get past the whole Sexy Fish Man and Sally Hawkins Fall In Love and Have Sex weirdness, what this story truly is about is capturing those who are outcasts and feel like they are alone in the world, finding a connection. It was a gorgeous film, with fab old Hollywood musical elements and I realise that if you haven’t seen the film this might all sound so weird, but it was great. I would be so happy for it to win.

I like to hope the Academy is changing. People think the Oscars are antiquated, but to that I just say we should change what an Oscar Film looks like. Change what an Oscar Winner looks like, shake it up, keep it relevant and diverse. We can only hope this is the direction the Academy is heading, but we will have to see how today goes.

By Claire.

Warning: vague spoilers 

Movies where the protagonist is forced to go back to their home town after a tragic event and confront life (do I dare borrow from The Big Chill and call these stories of ‘Lost Hope?’) are some of my favourites, bonus if it’s an ensemble cast. I think this comes from my own upbringing in a country town which I couldn’t wait to get out of. It was for this reason, the casting of Kyle Chandler and the imagery shown in the trailer which all accumulated in me paying money for a ticket to see Manchester by the Sea. I wish I didn’t.

For the past three years, my sister and I have done our Big Oscar Watch, where we endeavour to see as many, if not all, of the Academy Award Best Picture nominations before the awards broadcast. All but too aware of Casey Affleck’s sexual abuse allegations, I went into Manchester By the Sea with a guilty heart. I tried my best to keep an open mind, but as soon as the credits (finally) started to roll, I broke my rule of waiting for the house lights to come up and was out of my seat and out of the cinema.

Manchester by the Sea is a story about Lee Chandler (Affleck), a domestic janitor forced to go back to his small, seaside hometown of Manchester, after the sudden death of his brother Joe (Kyle Chandler). Lee is now left with the guardianship of his teenage nephew, and the memories of the tragic events which forced his leave from the town in the first place. Basically, this movie is sad. It was sadder than I anticipated, and while the emotion was felt, the whole production came off as being for show. Despite being equipped with beautiful imagery and camera work in picturesque seaside Massachusetts, I’m ready to call out this movie for what it truly is: nothing more than a star vehicle to establish Casey Affleck as a Serious Actor, by giving him the role of the tortured soul.

Casey Affleck's one facial expression, as Lee (Left) and Lucas Hedges as his nephew, Patrick (Right)

Let’s be real, who had even heard of Casey Affleck before this movie came around? A name which has in no small feat only been escalated in the media due to his sexual abuse allegations, and outrage over his recent Golden Globes and BAFTA win, as discussed in this post. What better way to bring him into the Hollywood spotlight than by giving him a role where he seldom talks unless he is organising other people’s lives without explaining himself, punching men in bars just for looking at him funny, and has the same stoic expression on his face. I will admit, not all the acting was bad, but there are enough tortured soul white male roles out there, we don’t need another one.

What I also found disturbing is the treatment of women. This movie is so obviously made by men, it’s laughable.

First, let’s address Lee’s sixteen-year-old nephew Patrick (Lucas Hedges), and his two girlfriends. Not only is this knowledge made known in the trailer, but is brought up in the film without any repercussions. Like, are we supposed to be ok with this? Without going into the polygamy debate, the reason this irks me so is that neither girl knows about the other. While the brunette Sylvie (Kara Hayward) provides emotional support for Patrick while he grieves, the blonde Sandy (Anna Baryshnikov) only acts as an object for Patrick to have sex with, as goes the only plot point in their relationship. Why not get a girl who can do both? The secrecy of Patrick’s infidelity is a form manipulation and reinforces the idea that women exist for nothing more than consumption and pleasure, as so often told around the teen boy narrative such as teen sex comedies.

Secondly, I think Michelle Williams did an excellent job as Lee’s ex-wife Randi, given the circumstances her character are given. By this, I don’t only mean in her ability to grieve and move on, but how her character was written, especially in regards to Lee. In the scene where Lee and Randi bump into each other on the street and they both cry out their emotions, I understand the pain and need for closure. Yet, while Randi is sobbing out apologies for the harsh words she said all those years ago, Lee says nothing about his mistakes. She isn’t angry to see him back in Manchester, and if I were in her shoes, I would be.

Michelle Williams as Randi, confronting Lee (Affleck)

Dear Randi: your wicked words were and are still valid, this man’s negligence freaking killed your kids! I understand it was an accident, I understand you have found it in yourself to move on, but what I fail to understand is why you are standing there, in front of your ex-husband with your new born baby from a man who probably has his life together, sobbing apologies for a few harsh words and wailing “I still love you’s!”.  It is only in a man’s world in which a woman—a mother—would be so forgiving in such a situation, and still in love with their ex-husband who effectively murdered their children, without any, at the very least, on-screen confrontation.

During the scene, Lee, thick with tears, contends “No, there’s nothing there” in reaction to Randi’s declarations of love. This distances himself from her, and is a responsible reaction, as he recognises he is no good for her. Yet, due to the scripting and characterisation of Williams’ character, the resulting dynamic between the two though leaves Randi as the wailing woman, crazy and hopelessly in love with Affleck’s brooding, tortured soul. Like Patrick’s girlfriend’s, Randi is a device to redeem Lee as a character. What we are left with is the feeling that, if his ex-wife can still love him, he mustn’t be that bad of a man.

There are enough movies about the tortured white male, who can be an asshole without judgement because life has dealt him some bad blows. Furthermore, there are enough movies which feature 2-dimensional women, who only exist to make the tortured males look good. In today’s political and cultural climate, we don’t have the time for such movies, especially during award season. It is a record-year for African American stories and filmmakers at the Academy Awards, it’s no wonder Manchester by the Sea is receiving little to no recognition. I have already said my piece on the injustice of the continuous celebration of men in the film industry who are known sexual abusers in regards to Affleck’s Golden Globe earlier this year, but it’s no wonder it is getting overshadowed by Moonlight and Hidden Figures. We don’t need movies like this anymore, and quite frankly, I’m more than happy to see them go. 

Cause a Cine do not own any of the images used in this post.

By Claire

For the past three years, I have taken to writing my reactions to the Academy Award nominations, pointing out triumphs, snubs, and always arguing for more diversity/inclusivity in nominations. I do this, because I get very intense around awards season (say what you want about the high-brow elitism of award shows, Academy Awards nominations and wins literally define careers) and because the conversation needs to be had every single time.

The Academy Awards are considered the most prestigious of awards. Major studios and production companies look to what is and isn’t being nominated, what is and isn’t winning, to determine what type of films are worth investing in. In effect, if straight white male filmmakers continue to be celebrated, these are the stories that will continue to dominate the box office even though they do not accurately represent the world. There needs to be more recognition for inclusive stories being told authentically by the people who live their individual experiences.

Every year rightfully deserving inclusive performances and filmmaking are ignored by The Academy, and we need to call it out. Hopefully one day, things will improve.

In 2015 and 2016, The Academy Awards have been on the receiving end of #OscarsSoWhite backlash. In both of these years, out of all twenty acting nominations, all were white people. This is despite Ava DuVernay’s Selma being nominated for Best Picture in 2015. 

This year, four out of nine films nominated for Best Picture are about people of colour: Fences, Hidden Figures, Moonlight and Lion. After the last two years, this feat seems unimaginable. In response, many are quick to declare #OscarsSoWhite is no more.

Hidden Figures has received three Academy Award nominations, including Best Picture and Best Supporting actress (Octavia Spencer, right)

For actors, the Supporting Actor category include Mahershala Ali for Moonlight and Dev Patel for Lion. Patel is only the third Indian actor to be nominated for an Academy Award. Following is Denzel Washington nominated for Lead Actor in Fences.

History is being made in the Supporting Actress category, with three out of five nominees being African American women. Viola Davis, making this her third Academy Award nomination and becoming the first AfricanAmerican woman to receive the honour, for Fences. Naomie Harris for Moonlight, and Academy Award winner Octavia Spencer for Hidden Figures. As for Lead Actress, Ruth Negga is nominated for her role in Loving.

Other wins for inclusivity include Joi McMillion (Moonlight) who is the first African American woman to be nominated in the editing category.

Mahershala Ali in Moonlight, which has received eight Academy Award nominations

Ava DuVernay is the first African American female director to be nominated for Documentary Feature (13^th, available on Netflix), Barry Jenkins (Moonlight),the first African American writer-director to be nominated individually for Best Director and Best Screenplay for a film which is also nominated for Best Picture, and Mica Levi, the only female composer nominated for Best Score for her work on Jackie.

However, with no women nominated for in the fictional direction or screenwriting categories, it seems we can only focus on combating one issue at a time.

This year is a triumph for African American filmmakers, actors and actresses, but we can’t be too quick to dispel #OscarsSoWhite.

In an article posted on USA Today, Maria Puente highlights that diversity is not a black-or-white issue. This year, we see no nominations for Latinas and Latinos. Dev Patel is the only one with an Asian background.

Dev Patel in Lion

This is not to mention the horrifying inclusion of Casey Affleck as a Lead Actor nominee and Mel Gibson for Best Director. Acknowledging and awarding sexual abusers and racist, sexist bigots does nothing to take the issue seriously, and perpetuates repeat offenders. Because as long as you’re white and famous (or come from a famous family: let’s be real Casey Affleck, no one knew who you were before this year), you can get away with anything. Lest we forget 2016’s Birth of a Nation director Nate Parker, who was ostracised for his sexual abuse allegations, despite his film being one of the most anticipated of the year. Yet now, no one has heard a thing about the film, and there is no mention of Nate Parker’s name anywhere near this award season. And it’s hard to accept this as anything but a race issue.

It was worse enough when Casey Affleck was awarded the Golden Globe for his performance in Manchester By the Sea. Presenter Brie Larson’s disdain for his win was clear when she begrudgingly handed over his award, but for Fresh Off the Boat star Constance Wu, this Academy Award nomination is the last straw. Taking to Twitter, Wu expressed her anger at the development, and I have got to say, I am with her all the way.

Brie Larson's face after announcing Casey Affleck's win at this years Golden Globes

Discussions of representation aside, I honestly feel Jackie should have been nominated for Best Picture, and while Hell or High Water is a decent film, it’s nomination slightly confuses me. Why is Meryl nominated For Lead Actress for Florence Foster Jenkins, but Amy Adams isn’t for Arrival?

Despite my personal connection to La La Land, I honestly hope it doesn’t win many awards. The film is not director Damien Chazelle’s, Emma Stone’s nor Ryan Gosling’s best work, and while I find it to be a ray of light at the end of the dark and long Pursuing a Career in the Arts tunnel, we need to call it out for what it is: nothing more than good old Hollywood nostalgia and spectacle, which has swept up Hollywood because Hollywood loves itself.

With two songs in the running for Best Original Song, as much as I love Broadway’s new song writing darlings Pasek and Paul’s work, City of Stars is nothing new and Audition Song is full of clichés. I just want Moana to win because the movie is fantastic, and Lin Manuel Miranda needs to EGOT.

But that’s just my opinion. 

You can find a full list of records being broken at the 2017 Oscars here. 

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Cause a Cine do not own any of the images used in this post. 

By Zoë

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Carol was beautiful. While watching it in the cinema, I wanted to throw myself through the screen and into Carol and Therese’s world. Cate Blanchett as Carol was intoxicating, and it wasn’t hard to understand how Rooney Mara’s Therese could fall in love with her. It felt like a revelation to see a film about lesbians that was both exquisitely made and featured a happy ending.

On Monday, during the Oscars ceremony, Chris Rock referred to Carol as the “third best” “girl-on-girl movie” he’d seen this year.

When I heard that, I cringed. Because here was a movie I had loved not just as a cinemagoer, but as a bisexual woman. Carol, for me, captured the beauty and terror of being a woman attracted to a woman, something I’ve experienced. I saw myself reflected in Therese. So when Chris Rock referred to the film as “girl-on-girl”, linking it to lesbian pornography, I too felt denigrated.

It was shame that I felt, a feeling well known to same-sex attracted women. In fact, you can see this shame depicted in Carol. In the scene where Therese first meets Carol at the department store, her attraction to the older woman is instant. But immediately after her wide-eyed, starstruck attraction, Mara depicts Therese’s confusion, her anxiety over what she has just felt. Did I just feel that? Surely not. But she’s a woman. I can’t feel that way about a woman. In Therese’s flushed cheeks and nervous gestures is not just the delightful shock of being attracted to someone, but the panicked confusion of attraction that is taboo. How could I feel that? What’s wrong with me?

 Cate Blanchett (left) as Carol and Rooney Mara (right) as Therese in Carol

Both the film’s director, Todd Haynes, and writer, Phyllis Nagy, are openly gay. Together they capture same-sex attraction with all of its complicated emotions: wonder, joy, confusion, fear, shame. With Carol, I saw for a film that represented lesbian love as being as valid as any other romance, while also acknowledging its separate challenges. I saw represented on screen the feelings I too have known, the shame I too have felt.

Carol is of course set in a different world to our own. Lesbians and bi women obviously face significantly less oppression now than they did then. But the shame still persists because the prejudice against us does. Every time I mention being bisexual, no matter how liberal the company, it is prefaced by at least thirty seconds of anxiety. Because for every ten situations where it is accepted without question, there is one that goes badly: The date who immediately asked me if I’d ever had a threesome, the friend’s father who called me a “dyke”, the middle-aged man who propositioned 17-year-old me and asked if I could “turn straight” for him. These instances are rare, and without doubt, others have it much worse. I am lucky. But these rare instances are the ones that haunt me, that make the words catch in my throat the next time around.

Chris Rock’s remark is yet another comment that brings that shame to the fore. It’s a reminder that female same-sex attraction is mocked and fetishized, still, in 2016. Even when it occurs within an elegant, romantic, critically-acclaimed film, lesbian sexuality is discussed as something hyper-sexual, seedy, pornified. The description “girl-on-girl” suggests that our very identity is a porn category. Apparently, we still cannot find other women attractive without lecherous men assuming it is for their benefit.

Mara and Blanchett in Carol

When Therese reacted with shame over her attraction towards Carol, I first felt amazed: here was my experience reflected up on the big screen, in a mainstream movie, by an A-list actress. Here was the rapid heartbeat and sweating palms, the confusion, the incredulousness that you could be attracted to her. I am so thankful to Haynes and Nagy for representing this, for allowing all the lesbians and bi girls still wracked by insecurity to feel a little less alone. But at the same time, I’m immensely sad that we still feel this shame felt sixty years ago. We are still made to feel ashamed, and we should not.

Our sexuality still cannot exist on its own terms. It is bound on all sides: by politics, by societal prejudice, by the leers of men who think they’re far cleverer than they are. When Chris Rock called Carol “girl-on-girl”, I felt that shame, that feeling that there is something inherently weird and exotic about our sexuality. That it is something to be gawked at and sexualised by spectators. Society has evolved greatly since the time period of Carol. Things are definitely much better than they are. But while comments like Rock’s persist, shame, the legacy of our deviant existence, lives on.